First Day of My Life: A CS Christmas
by DearieMate
Summary: Post-Neverland Christmas Eve; Killian plays Emma a song for open mic night. (fluffy)


_Tick. Tick. Tock. Tock._ The clock on the wall at the Sheriff's station grew ever louder the longer Emma sat. She couldn't hear anything but the clock. There was no one there to talk to, to listen to. Why had she agreed to work tonight? Christmas Eve of all nights, she realized she didn't want to be alone. All those years of lonely Christmases had not left her memory. And still now, here she was alone, the clock reminding her that despite everything that had happened, in this moment, she was that girl again.

She stirred some creamer into her coffee as she thought; thought about Henry, Hook, and what to do now that they were home. They'd been home from Neverland long enough now, and she had returned to work to keep her mind off of it. Right now Henry was staying with Regina while she figured things out…and she wanted more than ever to do so.

_Tick tock. Tick tock._

She sighed. Her mind lapsed back to the day they returned from Neverland, in early December. The party at Granny's to reunite everyone. It was great seeing everyone again, really it was. There was so much joy. But she had noticed something that unnerved her. While everyone was congratulating her and her parents and Henry, no one seemed to give Hook the time of day. They were treating him like the outsider, when in reality he had helped to save them all. He stood awkwardly in the corner of the diner, and every time Emma looked over at him, his eyes met hers and then darted away.

She had tried to speak to him, but there were so many people, and Henry wouldn't leave her side. Not to mention Neal.

"Ugh," she muttered aloud at the thought of him.

He kept saying "we need to talk later" and "don't leave me hanging later." She had no desire to speak to him right now. She just wanted him to focus on being a good father to Henry, and not hurting him the way he hurt her so long ago.

At one of these pleadings, Emma was trying to think of an excuse, and looked over at Hook. She looked over at the moment he was slipping out the front door of the diner.

"Emma," Neal said, "did you hear me?"

Emma felt flustered, knowing that she needed to talk to Hook more than anyone, and she was losing her chance.

"I, uh," she stumbled, "yeah, we'll talk later I guess…" and her voice trailed off. Before she knew it she was pushing her way through the crowd and the bell of the door was jingling above her.

_Tick tick. Tock tock. She hated remembering what happened next._

It was snowing out. She had left her coat and everything inside.

"Hook!" she called out for him.

He was walking out into the street and stopped at her call. He turned his head to the side but didn't look back her.  
"Love, it's too cold out here. You should go back inside with your family."

Emma walked up to him, and at the sound of her footsteps he sighed and turned around.

"Why are you leaving?" she asked as she walked up to him.

"I don't belong in there, lass. And I couldn't take the glares of the townspeople any longer." He looked down, embarrassed, and held onto his hook. "They're never going to see me the way you do."

At this her eyes darted up to his, and she saw the snowflakes that had caught on his long dark eyelashes.

Just as she was about to speak, the jingle of the diner's front door rang in her ear.

"Mom?" Henry called out. "What are you doin' out here, it's freezing!" Neal was standing behind him, holding up three cups of hot chocolate to try and coax her to back inside.

Emma looked back at Hook, unsure what to do. She managed to look up at him and say, "I, uh, I'm sorry. Can we finish this later?"

Hook looked like he understood something that she didn't. And nodding back up to Henry and Neal, he said with a defeated look on his face, "Aye, lass. Go back to your family, where you belong. As for later, one can only hope."

And at these words, he turned up his collar and began to walk towards the docks.

Emma sighed and looked down at her feet, now frozen from the cold snow. She hated this. She wanted to tell Hook everything that she had been feeling but tonight just wasn't the right time. She turned and walked back up to the diner, reluctantly taking a hot chocolate from Neal. But for the rest of the evening all she could think about was the pirate. How he was probably alone on the ship, cold and wondering what to do. She hated this.

_Tick tock. Tick tock._

The sound of the clock snapped her back into reality. That conversation happened almost a month ago, and things were still the same.

She turned the radio on to drown out the awful clock. The station was broadcasting live music from a local pub tonight. "Great," she thought, "Now I get to spend my Christmas Eve with a bunch of lonely, drunk fools." She sat back in her chair and stared up at the ceiling, arms crossed and feet on the desk. It helped her think.

She hadn't seen Hook all that often since that night. He avoided coming into town as much as possible, even though that did little to help his image with the people in town. She had stopped by the ship a couple times just to check on him, but their conversations were short and awkward and forced. Neither of them could say what they wanted.

Throughout the town, Emma could hear what people were saying about the Neverland adventures. Their stories were seriously misconstrued. In passing, she would hear things like, "_I hear Neverland makes your mind go haywire. Probably the only real explanation for sheriff swan making out with a villain_," and "_I can't believe he would even try to show his face. We all know he only cares about himself and his revenge_."

These words hurt Emma in ways she could not describe. They didn't understand. They didn't know him like she did. But she didn't know how to stand up for him. He had been proving to her that his heart was in the right place, but he needed to prove it to everyone else, too.

Aside from this issue, there was the issue of dealing with Henry's custody with Regina, trying to get Neal to understand that they were never getting back together, and her parents wanting to make an addition to their family, and just trying to adjust back into a normal routine after everything that had happened in Neverland. It was all too much. There was nothing normal about having a relationship with Captain Hook, and she couldn't afford any more complications right now.

At the thought of turning him away, she felt the tears rolling hot down her face. She had to tell Hook that this wasn't going to work. She was the savior, and henry's mother, and that's all she had time for right now.

"I'll just go down to the ship and tell him this is over. Better to do it now than wait until it's too late," she thought. "If I do this now, then I can't get hurt down the road. I don't have enough strength in me to deal with that again…."

Emma knew herself. She knew that she was just trying to rationalize this the best way she could. She knew that deep down she had feelings for Hook. He understood her better than anyone, and it scared the shit out of her. If she made her feelings known, it would make her vulnerable. Vulnerable to heartbreak, as well as the scrutiny of her family and the town and possibly even Henry.

She looked outside as she packed up her things. The snow was coming down harder than it had all month, inches of white fluff covering the street and the yellow bug. She put on her coat and hat and slipped on some gloves. She grabbed her bag, clicked off the lights, and walked outside. After locking up the station, she walked over to her car, but stopped midway.

"_Shit, I left the radio on. Better go turn that off so nobody thinks I'm still in there_," she thought.

As she turned the key and opened the door, she heard a faint voice inside saying what sounded a heck of a lot like her name.

"For miss Swan…."

Her head tilted back up as she thought, "_What the hell?_"

Quickly she ran inside and realized the voice was coming from the radio. It continued.

"So once again, just to make sure she hears this: Sheriff Swan, if you're listening, we have a guest here for open mic night who has a song for you. I'm going to give the mic over to him now…"

"_Who the hell could this be?_" she thought.

And suddenly a voice she knew all too well was speaking to her. To only her.

"Hi, uhh, hello. I hope I'm using this bloody thing right…"

Hook's voice echoed throughout the station and hit her like a ton of bricks. She had to sit down. Was this really happening?

He continued, "Good evening, Miss Swan, If you can hear me, this is for you. Merry Christmas, love."

There was a pause, and then she could hear the strumming of a guitar, and a voice that sang out over the waves, making its way straight into her heart.

**"****_It's not like it was before  
There's a beauty in slamming doors  
And the lightning plays in your eyes  
As it cracks through northeastern skies_**

**_Girl, you were beautiful before  
But in the cyclone, I love you more  
There's a pause in the faintest smile  
As the storm rages on for miles_**

**_There's no answers in the tempest  
Just a million other questions  
So just let it take you over  
So that we can learn our lesson…" _**

Emma was crying now. What was wrong with her? Everything she needed to get through this was here in front of her.

Or, not quite yet. It would be when she reached the pub. She ran out the door again, leaving the radio on purposefully this time.

Killian kept singing.

_**"And this has just got ridiculous  
'Cause it's burned through the both of us  
In the crumbled down cinema  
We can hide where we always hide"**_

He had been searching the crowd for a welcoming face the whole time, and had found none. Most had turned away. That is, until he saw her face. She had just come in from the cold, covered in snow, panting for breath. With a smile he finished the song, looking at her the whole time.

_**"…On a blank screen project our lives  
Me as husband and you as wife**_

**_And the storm outside dissipates  
The screen wipes to ticker tape_**

**_There's no answers in the tempest  
Just a million other questions  
So just let it take you over  
So that we can learn our lesson…"_**

He strummed the last note and then looked up again. Now everyone was looking at him, and looking back at Emma. A slow clap began in the back of the pub, and then before he knew it the entire pub was clapping for him. Some even stood to their feet and whistled.

Emma walked up to the stage and pulled him off of the stool, bringing him into a deep kiss, for all to see. His eyebrows cocked in surprise but he melted right into her kiss, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close.

They laughed and kissed more, the cheers of the crowd ringing in their ears. They made their way down from the stage and headed outside, into the snow again.

As soon as they were out, Emma pulled him close and wrapped her arms around him, burying her head into his chest.

"Emma, love, had I known this would be your reaction I would have sung to you a long time ago…" he said with a smirk.

She looked up at him, new tears welling in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said through a weak smile. The snow continued to fall around them.

She continued, to his bewilderment. "I'm sorry that I didn't stand up for you. I'm sorry I didn't open up to you. I want you to be in my life. I just didn't realize how much I needed you until now, Killian."

He pressed his lips to her forehead and held her close. The sound of his name on her lips was the best gift he could have received.

He pulled her away so that he could look in her eyes. "Don't worry, love. We're going to get through this together," he said, stroking her hair and holding onto her face. "…You and I have weathered many storms together…this is no different. Believe me when I say it will be an honor to fight by your side, always." He smiled at her, with that handsome grin that made her mind go fuzzy.

Emma smiled back at him. "Merry Christmas, Hook. Let's go home….and bring the guitar. I want to hear that song again."

Killian kissed her again, and said "Aye, as you wish, love."


End file.
